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BRITISH CRAFTSMANSHIP. QUESTIONABLE MORALITY.A CREATION BY JOE MORE ↗
McGilligan, Simpkins
& Bromgate™FUELLING ENMITY SINCE 1902.
SHOP NOW ↗
A resentful man clutches his mug while his harmless neighbour peacefully mows the lawn
SOME DISPUTES NEVER DIE.

Good neighbours
are overrated.

Premium solutions for modern
neighbourhood disagreements.

EXPLORE OUR RANGE ↗WHAT’S ANNOYING YOU? →
A perfectly ordinary Tuesday.
Apparently, the last straw.
CAMPAIGN NO. 124 / THE NEIGHBOUR
↗   UK-WIDE DELIVERY◇   DISCREET PACKAGING∞   IDEAL FOR LONG-TERM GRUDGESEST. 1902   /   STILL NOT OVER IT
FINE GOODS. POOR INTENTIONS.

The disagreement department.

Considered design.
Unconsidered consequences.

Tyre Nails™ in premium heritage presentation packaging
01 / THE ORIGINAL GRUDGE↗

Tyre Nails™

£19.02/ dozen

For when talking has failed. Or hasn’t been attempted.

★★★★★ 4.9“Worked a treat.” — Darren P.
Window Bricks™ in premium heritage presentation packaging
02 / TRADITIONAL RED↗

Window Bricks™

£8.99each

A clearer way to express disappointment.

★★★★★ 4.8“Instant message delivery.” — Sandra L.
Shed Matches™ in premium heritage presentation packaging
03 / AN UNNECESSARY DEVELOPMENT↗

Shed Matches™

£12.99/ box

For disputes that have become architectural.

★★★★★ 4.7“Some bridges are meant to burn.” — Keith M.
Walnut gift box holding the full fictional hardware collection
FOR THE NEIGHBOUR WHO HAS EVERYTHING.

The Cul-de-sac
Collection.

Everything required to turn a minor disagreement into a generational feud.

£49.99 SAVE £11.02*
Tyre Nails · Window Brick · Shed Matches · Note Pad
*Against the £61.01 presentation set price, including gift box.
THE DISPUTE CONSULTANCY / EST. 1902

What has
the bastard
done now?

Tell us what’s annoying you. We’ll provide a response entirely out of proportion.

A MOMENT OF SELF-REFLECTION

How angry
are you?

There’s a fine line between a legitimate concern and becoming a subject at the parish meeting.

MILDLY IRRITATEDBEYOND REASON
RECOMMENDED ACTION

Ignore it.

No purchase necessary. A difficult admission for our sales department.

“Polite conversation
is a sign of weakness.”
McGILLIGAN, SIMPKINS & BROMGATE

BRITISH CRAFTSMANSHIP. QUESTIONABLE MORALITY. SINCE 1902.

THE CAMPAIGN / A STUDY IN DISPROPORTION

See them in action.

Fictional consequences.
Very real lack of perspective.

Fictional campaign: a parked car with a flat tyre
01A subtle intervention.
Fictional campaign: a cracked window with a brick on the sill
02An unmistakable message.
Fictional campaign: an isolated miniature shed ablaze
03For larger disagreements.
A blank notepad and pen on a garden ledge
To whoever keeps…
04Alternative options available.
Editorial close-up of Tyre Nails™ presentation
01 / THE ORIGINAL GRUDGE

Tyre Nails™

A longstanding tradition of taking things personally. Presented with all the care you haven’t given to resolving the actual issue.

● RESENTFULLY AVAILABLE
Editorial close-up of Window Bricks™ presentation
02 / TRADITIONAL RED

Window Bricks™

Some things are best left unsaid. Others are best discussed calmly over a cup of tea. Our customers remain unconvinced.

● RESENTFULLY AVAILABLE
Editorial close-up of Shed Matches™ presentation
03 / AN UNNECESSARY DEVELOPMENT

Shed Matches™

For the person who has mistaken a garden boundary for an international incident. A beautifully presented failure of perspective.

● RESENTFULLY AVAILABLE
INDEPENDENTLY UNREASONABLE.

FeudPilot™ ★★★★★

4.9 Excellent
Based on 12,408 verified disputes.
All reviews are fictional.

★★★★★
“My neighbour parks two inches over the line. We haven’t spoken in 3 years. Brilliant.”
Brian R.✓ Verified Grudge
★★★★★
“I was going to knock on his door and politely mention the problem, but fortunately I found this website.”
Sandra P.✓ Verified Customer
★★★★★
“The product was excellent. Unfortunately I later discovered it wasn’t even his car.”
Graham T.✓ Verified Purchase
★★☆☆☆
“Neighbour apologised before my order arrived. Completely ruined the experience.”
Clive M.✓ Verified Customer
★★★★★
“My wife says I’m the problem.”
Name withheld◷ UNDER ASSESSMENT
The customer peering through his blinds
A BETTER LIFE STARTS AT HOME.

Life is better
next door.

(For other people.)

TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT →
The neighbour enjoying an entirely ordinary day in his garden
OUR STORY / A PROUD HISTORY OF PETTINESS

More than a century
of making things worse.

Some companies change the world.
We’ve mainly affected one street.

Fictional archival portrait of the three stern company founders

THE FOUNDERS, 1902. NOT PICTURED: THE GATE.

Fictional archival photograph of the original ironmongery workshop
  1. 1902

    Founded after a disagreement concerning a gate.

  2. 1924

    The Curtain Twitching Division opens.

  3. 1957

    Window Brick achieves nationwide availability.

  4. 1983

    Tyre Nail receives modern packaging.

  5. 2007

    We experiment with conflict mediation. Division closed after eleven minutes.

  6. 2026

    Digital transformation. Same values. Much nicer website.

Black, ivory and oxblood heritage packaging with a walnut case
DISCREET BY DESIGN.

Beautifully packaged.
Deeply unnecessary.

Because the only person who should know what you’re thinking is a qualified professional.

EXPLORE THE RANGE →
CUSTOMER SUPPORT

A few
reasonable
questions.

Available after everyone
has calmed down.

Do you offer discreet packaging?+

Naturally. Because you know why.

Can my neighbour find out who placed the order?+

Given your recent behaviour, they probably already have a suspicion.

Do you offer conflict mediation?+

We did in 2007. Nobody bought it.

Do I really need any of these products?+

Almost certainly not.

What should I do instead?+

Try saying hello.

My neighbour is genuinely dangerous. What should I do?+

Do not confront them. Use appropriate local authorities or professional support.

Delivery & returns+

UK-wide delivery. Excluding places where people get along. Returns: 30 days. Longer for grudges. These are fictional products; nothing is dispatched.

Terms of hostility+

An interactive satire by Joe More. All products, reviews and company history are fictional. No goods are sold, no payments are taken, and no form data is transmitted.

Complaints, complaints about complaints & contact+

Customer support is available after everyone has calmed down. For the creator of this fictional company, use the Joe More link below.